Picking Up Pennies

What's On Your Plate?

Mom’s spaghetti, by request, for a birthday meal every year. 

Big, fat, soft cookies nestled between wax paper in tins, tucked into the bottom cupboard, Molasses Drop Cakes.  

Grapefruit mornings with a reluctant Grandpa.

Dad’s biscuits and gravy for breakfast and Mom’s rhubarb crisp, made from the rhubarb growing in the backyard. 

Oh, the smells of food and the people they represent.  These were what our book club shared when we began to discuss Jael McHenry’s “The Kitchen Daughter”.    The story features a twenty-six year old girl, with Asperger’s Syndrome, named Ginny and how she copes with her unexpected death of her parents by cooking in the kitchen.

Following tradition we each shared our favorite scenes from the book.   Laurie found it poignant and unexpected how David appears when Ginny makes his hot chocolate at the end of the book.   We all agreed, but I love how Ginny describes David when she first meets him.

“His voice is muddy, that’s what it is. Dark and brown and muddy. A note to it like coffee left too long on the burner. And unsweetened, bitter chocolate. But there’s dirt in it too, deep, dark dirt, like the garden in October. “ –THE KITCHEN DAUGHTER

Heather found how Ginny soothes herself when she becomes stressed incredibly powerful and sweetly goosebump worthy.

 “I walk up the stairs, they squeak under my feet, I walk into my parents’ closet, pull the door tight shut, and sit down with my hands in Dad’s shoes. I need the dark. I need the comfort. I look for a food memory to calm me and I settle on ceviche.”-THE KITCHEN DAUGHTER

Heidi felt the connection between Ginny and her niece a nod to Ginny’s capacity for empathy.  She also felt the friendship and feeling useful, with the help of family housecleaner Gert, helped Ginny grow as well.

“Ginny, it is Gert,” says the familiar voice, all sweet dark poppy seeds.

“Gert! Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing wrong.”

“Because it’s not Thursday.”

 “No. Today I am calling for a different reason. I am calling as friend, asking favor.”

“Yes?”

She says, “I need a good cook, and you are the best. Can I come get you? I will explain.”

How can I refuse? Gert needs my help. No one ever needs my help.”-THE KITCHEN DAUGHTER

 

We all agreed we loved Ginny’s Normal Book, clippings from advice columns, she used to help her feel better about what “normal” really meant.   

“There are so many flavors of normal, it doesn’t matter which one I am. That’s what the Normal Book tells me. There really is no normal.”-THE KITCHEN DAUGHTER

We had a lengthy discussion about Asperger’s Syndrome, which led into how broad the spectrum is and a movie called “Temple Grandin”, based on the real story of a woman with autism. 

“The Kitchen Daughter” was a story that touched each of us differently and we all answered the question of how we cope with our emotions with varied perspectives.   I’ll end with the quote that we all found to be the perfect recipe when faced with struggles in our life.   It comes from Ginny.

“Difficult, but not impossible. I am not impossible.”-Ginny from THE KITCHEN DAUGHTER

 

 
Laurie, Heidi (standing), Jen and Heather.  The Lit Wits.  Photo credit to Heather's daughter, Claudia.   She's a talented ten year old who appreciates books.

 

 

Sisterhood of the Traveling Author Tour

I fished out just the right amount of change to pay for the parking garage.  I considered it a sign and eased into my parking space with a smile.   Warm sunshine poured down as I found my way to the bookstore for Rae Meadow’s Mother’s Day author reading.   The afternoon was a gift to myself, a literary field trip wrapped up in bow.   I recognized Rae straightaway and introduced myself.  We had been tweeting back and forth for awhile and it was lovely to meet her in person.  Quite appropriately she had her baby daughter with her, as her book was titled “Mothers and Daughters”, and the crowd that gathered reflected that theme as well.   The reading began with a full house,  and Rae’s daughter planted snuggly in her baby sling to share her writer mama’s spotlight.   As Rae’s husky voice delivered the story of three generations of women, the streets of New York came alive and the whistle of the Orphan Train called faintly in the distance.   Hints of heartache travelled across time and soon the whole room was drawn into the story of Violet, Iris and Samantha.  Afterwards I stood in line to have Rae sign a book for my Mom and we snapped a picture together.  As a bonus I was able to meet Rae’s entirely engaging friend and writer, Michelle Wildgen.   I have earmarked her book, “You’re Not You”, at the top of my reading list.   I left the reading and indulged in Thai noodles while seated near a window that framed Madison’s capital in the distance.   My Mother’s Day treat was complete and my second author reading was checked off on my travel log.

On the road again, ten days later, I again followed the familiar highway down south.  This time I was alighting on “The Bird Sisters” reading in Oconomowoc.  You have to say it.  It’s almost like a bird call.  See what I mean?  Rebecca Rasmussen had been a Twitter friend for a long while as well, so it was a midweek treat to meet her.  Funny thing, though, the Garmin in my car led me to a fruit stand in the middle of a highway instead of the quaint bookstore that held the event.  I resorted to calling my seventeen year old son for direction help and ended up pulling into a Culver’s parking lot and asking a Mom with a little girl for the location.   Rebecca was as lovely to meet in person as I had expected.  We chatted for bit before her reading, and as I settled into my seat to listen to the reading we exchanged wide grins like two long-lost friends. “The Bird Sisters” is about two sisters and it travels the landscape of family set in Spring Green, Wisconsin.  As Rebecca read the first chapter it echoed the style of the book itself, beautiful poetry, dotted with humor and characters that resonate.   I’m talking about a priest with a hankering for a Mexican getaway and a ferris wheel ride with a goat.  The story is told both to the softly accented voice of young love,  with crushing disappointments, and the shading of age old wisdom, the kind we have when we put out hands to our brow and look back at our life choices.   Standing in line to have a book signed I struck up conversation with Charlotte, another reader fan of Rebecca.   She carried with her a heart-tugging picture of her namesake and bird caretaker, her aunt.   It was so perfectly wonderful, this photo.   The woman wore a vibrant red dress and had her arms crossed and held, ever so gently, with a bird perched on her hand.  The backdrop was filled with light from floor to ceiling windows, a perfect portrait of a bird sister.  Charlotte let me coax her into taking her picture, with paper birds flying against the bookstore window as backdrop.  Rebecca and I chatted over chai tea and shared a turtle cheesecake that was chewy cement goodness after the event.  It was truly like meeting an old friend.   So my third author adventure was indeed a charm, the cherished gift in the shape of a bird, who knows where it will take me next?

 
Striking a pose with Rae Meadows,  author of "Mothers & Daughters".

 

 
Comfy chairs for Rebecca Rasmussen, author of "The Bird Sisters", and I.

 

 
Charlotte, fellow reader and author event attender, shows her lovely aunt and bird lady in a photograph she is holding.  Is that perfect or what?

A Different Point of View

 

“Who among us is not stained by the past?” 

As we went around the room at book club this was Jennie’s choice of what resonated with her from Jenna Blum’s “Those Who Save Us”.   Heather said she cried when Anna’s stollen dish was left untouched on the refreshment table at the church’s potluck.  Shaunda wondered if Anna REALLY fell in love with Obersturmfuhrer.     Lisa once again gave a double dose of observation.  She had a pit in her stomach each time an encounter with the Obersturmfuhrer was presented. On the other hand, she laughingly pointed out how she identified with Trudy when she huffed and was offended when her ex-husband compared her to mother.  Recalling the part in the book where Trudy goes home and purposely “messes up” her house, only to clean it up because she couldn’t stand leaving it that way, proves how far we go to show “we are not like our mother”.  Heidi noted she found the powerful mother/daughter relationship intricately layered and loved how it wasn’t completely resolved in a neat little bow at the end of the book. This segued beautifully into many comments that started with,  “I love my Mom, but…”  followed by gales of laughter.  

The discussion questions we used were straight from the author’s page, however I am quite certain that the modesty and older women discussion we howled over would have had Jenna Blum rolling on the floor.  It’s all Heather’s fault.  She brought up that she has a friend who is a nurse and cares for elderly patients who have Alzheimer’s.   One of the things the nurses encourage the patients to do is start with their opposite leg when getting dressed, as a way to exercise their brain.   Well, these ladies protested, they would fall over if they started with their left leg.  The nurse made the simple suggestion of sitting on their bed to help keep their balance.  Shocked the elderly woman asked, “With my bare bottom?” 

The story was powerful, to the degree where every person in attendance had to put down the book at some point and come back to it later.   We agreed that this book would be a compelling movie and everyone affirmed that Alec Baldwin would indeed make a fine Obersturmfuhrer.  We all left with a new perspective about the Holocaust and the challenges for those who managed to survive through that time.

As for me, I am going to try to put on my pants with my opposite leg tomorrow morning. 

 
                        The Lit Wits: Heidi, Heather, Lisa, Jen, Shaunda & Jennie.

Book Winners: "Hot Sweaty Mamas: Five Secrets To Life As A Fit Mom"

 Two winners.    No April Foolin'.   Wendy Koz and Merjmo bravely left their comments and can email me at the address left in the comment section on the blog post.   I think one of my personal favorite features in this book is the "Sweaty Decision Tree".    It helps you answer the question, with all sorts of boxes and factors," Should I work out, or not?".    This book is not fitness Pollyanna, but real Moms dedicated to finding the blend of fitness balance and the crazy ride called motherhood.

I hope this book inspires you to make your fitness a priority and to feel great about the skin you are in.  Kara a genuine hot, sweaty mama and supportive friend.   Check in and let her know how you like the book here.

 

 

Work It Out: Win A Copy of "Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to Life as a Fit Mom"

Working out is hard to do.  It’s even more daunting when you’re a Mom.  How do you fit it in?  What’s the best workout in the least amount of time?  Do these yoga pants have a built­­-in panty liner…’cuz if we are going to jumping around, I may spring a leak.

Answers to these questions and motivation to flex those kid-carrying muscles are in Kara Thom’s co-authored  book, “Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to Life as a Fit Mom”.  To celebrate the release date of this book, March 29^th, I am giving a copy away on my blog. 

Here’s what you do to win this inspiring and realistic Mama-motivator of a book:

 Leave a comment on this blog post.  Share how you “fit” fitness into your life.   If you don’t, share what would motivate you to take care of you. 

I will pick a winner on Friday, April 1.  Winner will be announced on the blog by midnight, central time zone.   No foolin'!

In the meantime, check out this hilarious video with Kara and her kiddos incorporating fitness in the chaos of motherhood.

Ladies, you’re worth it.  Put a spring in your step and enter to win!   

 

Y'all Come Back Now...

 

Soft jazz floated through the air and a spicy chai, brimming in a generous coffee mug, rested within comforting reach.   The Lit Wit crowd arrived one by one and Ashley swept in with, “Where’s the purple velvet sofa?”.   Raves were heard all around from The Lit Wits for Beth Hoffman’s  “Saving Cee Cee Honeycutt”.    Carly joked it had been so long that she read a book that her name should be “The Book Virgin” on the blog.   Heather was so absorbed into the story she read it in two days.   Lisa felt it painted pictures so vivid she could see it as a movie.  I was given the dubious title of “Literary Goddess”.   Everyone else seemingly escaped without a moniker, we’ll have to fix that at the next meeting!

As we settled in and enjoyed some caffeine love at Mugs, we book talked.    Ashley had lived down south and reading this story evoked a homecoming tour feeling about places she had visited, like the lion in Forsyth Park and the Indian Tobacco Shop.   We all collectively sighed over Oletta’s cinnamon rolls and nodded knowingly, with a smile, about Oletta’s decision to mail a certain letter. 

Favorite scenes from the book travelled the length of Cee Cee’s journey.   Carly was taken in with the description of when Cee Cee first arrives at her Aunt Tootie’s, the gardens, the smell of Oletta’s cooking, the safety of a place to land.   My vote was for the purple velvet sofa friends and the sisterhood it represented.  Ashley enthusiastically acted out the slug throwing scene with Cee Cee and Miz Thelma Rae Goodpepper.  We all rolled with laughter recalling the garden party, Heather's favorite, and the mood quickly turned reflective when Lisa shared her favorite scene was when Cee Cee finally felt she was truly at home.

It was a lovely to take a breath during my week and talk about books and the ways that they speak to us.   The fire was warm and the conversation was lively.  Just the way Cee Cee would have liked it.  No frilly dresses required.

 
 The Lit Wits: Heather, Carly, Ashley, Jen and Lisa

Author Adventure

It all started with Twitter and ended at Bernie’s Italian Steakhouse.  I have Nina Badzin to thank for the whole adventure.  Have you ever attended an event invited by a person you’ve never met face to face?  Would you go to that event alone?  I sat in the sprawling parking lot of the Sabes Jewish Community Center in St. Louis Park and channeled Chevy Chase as I said to myself, “This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy.”   I stepped out of my trusty suburban, braced myself against the cold and walked toward “An Author Evening With Jenna Blum.”

It had taken me a three and half hour car ride across Wisconsin the night before, a pre-warmed electric blanket, pit-stop sleepover at my sister’s house and an hour’s drive into Minnesota to arrive at this event.   I had made it with only a half a dozen “Get in the right lane lady!” honks from Minneapolis to St. Louis Park.  This was due to the cell phone support my college pal Kim and her better-than-a-Garmin reassuring navigation voice.   I felt particularly cheeky since I have found her house all on my own in Minneapolis.   It was the first stop on my Grand Adventure and I was grateful I braved the below zero temperatures and connected with her again.  Big deal, right?  I drove four hours, saw a dear friend I haven’t seen in years, and went to hear an author speak.  Whoop. De. Doo.  Ah, but dear reader, leaving my four children and husband for two nights is like planning a small scale invasion.  My family and friends had more than one raised eyebrow at my enthusiastic decision to travel solo to an event where I knew two people only from Twitter.   They just happened to be one of the event organizers and the author herself. 

I follow a fair number of writers on Twitter.  I thoroughly enjoy reading their blogs and marveling over the creativity in their writing toolboxes.  I began following Nina Badzin’s tweets a few months ago.  Nina is a writer and a 2010 Pushcart Prize nominee.  Her blog can be found here.  Nina radiates warmth and humor.  She’s the Mom you meet at playgroup and secretly hope you become good friends.  When one of her tweets mentioned she was hosting an author evening with Jenna Blum I jumped at the chance and thought, “Why not?”   I replied to Nina I’d love to come to the event.   I had read both of Jenna’s books, “Those Who Save Us” and “Stormchasers.”  Over the years I have read every Holocaust book I could get my hands on.  There are at least a dozen on my  bookshelf.  The courage and strength exemplified in these stories never cease to inspire and amaze me.   “Schindler’s List” is the first movie I bought on DVD and I found the survivors’ stories even more powerful than the movie.  The book, “Those Who Save Us” mixes fact and fiction about a young German girl’s choice to ensure the survival of her and her young child.   When I had checked out Jenna Blum’s website I found that she had a private book talk scheduled in southeastern Minnesota, near my husband’s hometown.  I tweeted her and asked if the Caledonia she was speaking at was the Caledonia near Mabel, MN and she replied that it was.   Jenna explained that her grandmother lives in Caledonia and that she wrote “Stormchasers” while secluding herself in a hotel there.   So it was with great personal interest that I read “Stormchasers” and smiled at the familiar places and names in this weather-whipped story.  As the weeks grew closer to the event, Nina, Jenna and I tweeted how we looked forward to meeting each other and the evening.  I was feeling a combination of excitement and “Am I brave enough to actually do this?”

So there I was.  I had arrived.  With a composed deep breath, I approached the doors to the Sabes  JCC and stopped at the reception area.  True to my midwestern upbringing, I was an hour early.  The kind woman behind the desk pointed out the gallery and restrooms and I took advantage of both.   As I walked out of the gallery a voice called out, “Jenny?” and there was the lovely, welcoming Nina Badzin.   Words cannot explain the comforting relief those two syllables gave me.    With a big grin and a hug she greeted like an old friend, then kindly gushed in her Demi Moore-like voice that I looked like my Twitter avatar.  I knew I liked this girl.  I sent up a thankful prayer and was further surprised when she gestured me to follow her and proceeded to show me a seat at a front table reserved for event organizers and THE AUTHOR.  I would be sitting next to Nina and at the same table as Jenna Blum.  I was a bit overcome with speechless gratitude.    I had not expected this.  Those who know me realize that I can walk into a room full of strangers and be completely at ease with finding someone to have a conversation with and I fully expected to sit at a table with people I didn’t know.   Nina’s open-hearted kindness was an unexpected gift.  As I settled down into my seat I took a picture of the centerpiece on the table that noted the table I was sitting at was reserved for “Event Organizers and Author”.   I texted the image to my mother, sister, friends and husband.  I felt rock star special!   As Nina and I chatted about how to correctly pronounce the author’s last name, “Blum as in “plum”, it further confirmed how honestly fun and throw-it-out-there cool she is.   Jenna Blum arrived and swept in with a bubbly hug and infectious grin.  Again, I marveled at the kindness and warmth of someone I had not met face to face.   I was also intrigued that her lipstick stayed perfectly vibrant ALL evening.  I must find out the name of that product. 

The event began and Nina introduced Jenna, correctly pronouncing her last name, and giving the introduction a classic segued beat when she stated that Jenna was one of Oprah’s Top Thirty Women Writers.  Pause, look up.   “Oprah.”   You know the small gestures and subtle ways that people imprint themselves on your heart, that you just know that this is someone you’d want to be a friend with?  That’s Nina.

Jenna got up and comfortably took her place behind the podium.  She leaned forward, resting on her elbows and engaged the crowd like we were sitting around her living room.   Her down-to-earth, genuine, humorous style was a delight to listen to.  She also did a montage of different voices as she answered questions-her Dad, her French publicist, Alec Baldwin.  Again, heart imprints that endear someone to you.   Jenna’s passion for writing and research shone through the entire evening.  She had me at the story that she dressed up like her character, complete with braids and German dirndl dress, while writing “Those Who Save Us”.    Costumes, voices and a passion for words?  I knew I liked this girl.   The evening was winding down to a close; I joined the line of fans with books to be signed, even though I had already owned a copy of both.  More pictures were snapped and Jenna’s inscriptions on my book copies were a testament to the power of social media to reach out and connect with others,  “To Jen, my tweetheart & now in-person friend!  I love being in touch with you every day! Love, Jenna”. 

As I drove past the capital, glowing and grand in the darkness, I felt a bit again like Chevy Chase as I whispered happily to myself,  “I did it!”.   

But what of Bernie’s Italian Steakhouse?   I left my sister’s house early the next morning to begin my journey back home.  I was two hours from my destination when a dashboard light kept blinking, “Battery Not Charging”.    This was not good.  It was below zero.  I called my husband and our wonderful garage that fixes our cars.  “Drive until you can’t and then we’ll come get you.”  So that’s what I did.   I turned off everything that took battery power in my car and sang Christmas hymns until all the gauges shut down in synchronized impending doom.  I was twenty minutes from home.  The moment the battery coughed out its last surge of power, I managed to man-handle my suburban into the restaurant’s parking lot.  I sat there for a moment and then called the cavalry,  Cliff’s Tire and Battery.  While I waited for a nice young man named Bo to come out with a new battery, I kept myself company with a familiar friend.  As I turned the pages, passing the time, I thought it was only fitting that the title of the book I was reading was “Those Who Save Us.” 

My adventure was complete and I found this quote which sums it up nicely: 

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”- Anais Nin, novelist,diarist

 
                                                        Me, Nina Badzin and Jenna Blum